All I Wanted
by AshleyInWriterland
Summary: Had he just broken up with Nessa? Or had he done that earlier? Boq didn't know whether to feel accomplished or ashamed." / A Bessa fanfic, co-written between ElianaMargalit and TheGirlDefyingGravity.


A/N: My friend Eliana (her pen name on this website is ElianaMargalit) and I co-wrote this. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Wicked, sadly.

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"Boq..." Nessa said nervously, looking down at her hand and twisting the edge of her vest. "I have something to ask you." She stopped and looked up at him.

Boq raised an eyebrow. Nessa wasn't normally this nervous. "Yes, Nessa?"

"Well...I can't help but to notice that you...um...act like you think of me as just a friend." She bit the inside of her cheek.

Boq wasn't totally sure how to respond to that. They _were_ friends, right? "Well, that's what we are. Friends…" he stopped himself from continuing when he saw the worried, hurt look on Nessa's face. No! He couldn't deal with this now, not when he finally had a chance with Glinda!

"I thought we were...dating?" Nessa said. She felt a wave of hurt go through her. "I mean we go on dates-or at least they seemed like dates-and we would sometimes hold hands and...and we've kissed before and..." she trailed off.

"Well..." Boq almost gave in to Nessa, almost told her that they were more than friends, but he didn't. "No." He shook his head. "We're just friends. That's. It." Maybe if he _pretended _him and Nessa were never dating it would make breaking up with her more easy.

"Why did you tell people I was your girlfriend then?" Nessa could feel the emotional sting becoming stronger.

"I was confused. It was...I wasn't smart." Getting rid of Nessa was the right thing, wasn't it? Then he could finally talk to Glinda. "I know for awhile we were dating but…" he paused. "I was confused," he said again.

Nessa raised an eyebrow. "What were you confused about? It's been two and a half years."

"I had a big test that day," Boq lied. "I had been up all night studying and was still really stressed that day. I was so stressed that Fiyero didn't even attempt to get me to dance through life." Was that last bit too much? Fiyero always tried to get people destressified.

"Two and a half years ago?!" Nessa said, a bit more angrily than she had intended. "_Surely _you weren't studying for a test that was happening two and a half years from then."

Boq sighed. Surely Glinda would never give him these problems. "How about this? We're _just _friends now." Had he just broken up with Nessa? Or had he done that earlier? Boq didn't know whether to feel accomplished or ashamed.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Nessa wasn't sure if she felt shocked, angry, sad, or all three.

"Yes." Boq said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But we can still be friends." Boq scolded himself. That sounded like he was teasing her, and he really did want to be friends. Just not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Nessa swallowed and fought back the tears. "I _hope_," she said harshly, "You realized how much I like you and...and that it could've been prevented if you hadn't have lied. We _could've _been just friends."

Boq opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it. He had had enough of this. If Nessa made him feel bad, he would probably end up taking her back, and then he would never get Glinda. "Leave," he demanded, pointing at the door. "Now." He began pushing her chair towards the door.

"No," Nessa said firmly, and she placed her hands on the wheels, stopping the chair. "You can't order me around!" she blinked back more tears.

"This is my room, and I want you out." _Oh, Oz, she's about to cry_. Boq knew he wouldn't stand a chance if she cried.

The last four words did it. She began to cry. _Stop it, Nessa, stop it! _she mentally scolded herself, but she couldn't help it.

Boq sighed and tried not to look at her. It didn't work. He kneeled down by her chair. "Nessa, I'm sorry, I really am, but I think we'd just be better as friends." He paused. _There, that didn't sound so mean! _"And I just need to be _alone _right now, okay?" That last sentence came out harsher than he intended.

"Alone. Not a fun thing." _Oh, Oz, Nessa, don't say that! Don't start going all... _"Do you _really _know how that feels?" _Nessa, stop..._ She sniffled. …_or not._

"No, but I would if you let me be alone!" Boq wasn't sure who or what had taken over his words and thoughts. He knew he should apologize to Nessa, tell her that he loved her (at least as a friend), but he couldn't. He just needed-and wanted-her out.

"When did you become so harsh?" It was then that Nessa realized how cruel her own words have been sounding.

Boq wasn't sure what to say to that. "I don't know," he admitted honestly, quietly. _This is your chance_, a small part of his brain whispered. _Tell her you're sorry, take her back_. "Maybe when you did," he said out loud.

"Well when you _really like _someone and find out that they've been lying to you for a long time _you'd _probably act harsh, too!" Nessa burst.

"Trust me, Nessa, I know how _that_ feels," Boq assured her. The last sentence was said through his teeth. When would this girl shut up and let him be alone?

"How?" Nessa practically spat.

"Glinda," Boq almost whispered, but got gradually louder as he went on. "Glinda and I are meant to be together, and she lied and said she would like me if I asked you out, but she still hasn't even looked at me. And now I'm stuck with you." It felt good to have the truth out. He'd been hiding it for too long, now that he thought about it. Actually, he'd forgotten that Glinda had gotten them together until now.

"_Stuck _with me?!" Nessa cried. "I'm sorry, _Biq, _I didn't know you were _stuck _with me. I'm sorry I'm not Glinda, but what has Glinda done for you? Has she helped you study? Has she been there for the times _you_ get upset? No, I didn't think so." Nessa tried in vain to stop a new round of tears. She could feel herself starting to shake a bit from overwhelming emotion. _Does he realize what he's doing?_

Boq opened his mouth, but couldn't say anything. He hated to admit it, but Nessa had a point. "I don't know, but I have to try with her. I have to know how she feels about me."

Nessa stayed silent, unsure of what to say.

"And, besides," Boq added in his defense, and because he felt the need to say something intelligent in retort. "You didn't start doing that stuff until we started 'dating'." Now he, too, could feel the anger rising in him. He just wanted her out. Life would be _so _much easier if Nessa was just _out_, or at least would leave him alone right now and let them be just friends.

Nessa could see that Boq was being impossible right now. She had never seen him like this before, and wasn't sure how much more arguing they could take. "You want me to leave?" She just looked at him. She couldn't bear to let herself appear to be the weaker one right now, and decided to continue on. "Fine, I'll leave. But don't expect me to be your best friend and comfort you when Glinda rejects you." She hissed the word 'rejects.' They both knew this statement was mostly a lie, though.

Boq rolled his eyes. He was getting _really _fed up with Nessa. "Just. Leave. Me. Alone," he said through his teeth, then he hastily pushed Nessa's chair out of his room. He slammed the door; mostly out of anger, but partially so she wouldn't be able to stop it.

Nessa's mouth fell open in surprise as Boq forced her out. Boq knew that she hated being pushed against her will, and knew he specifically avoided doing that. _Of course, that was probably why he did it_, she realized bitterly.

And then she began crying harder. She felt quite silly doing this in the hallway, but she honestly just decided to give up on trying to act strong or brave at the moment. She had been hurt...badly.

On the other side of the door, Boq sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. He had mostly recovered from this other side of him that had taken over and broken up with Nessa, but not completely. She probably never wanted to see him again.

_Oh, Nessa..._


End file.
